i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize