but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
My feet surprised me
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
