I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize