so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
