everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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