Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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