We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
