if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
