how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
