GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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