There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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