i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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