Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
