also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
