i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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