This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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