You're so nebulous sometimes
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
