oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
