You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
