I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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