i need an iv and a liver transplant
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
