so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
