I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
