u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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