life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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