You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
