I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
