my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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