This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
My balls are so social today.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Who died my cat blue again?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize