she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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