dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
