You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
