I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
