Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
