Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
