And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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