did you get engaged???
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
