i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
