I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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