So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
