arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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