I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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