Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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