none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
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