somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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