honey bunches of taint.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize