do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
