I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
