i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
