She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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