there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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