theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
