we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
