What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
