Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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