i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
