yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Be still, my beating vagina.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Randomize
