im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize