And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize