Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
