I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
