i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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