I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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