Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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